It never hits me until a few days after. If I try to force it, it doesn't work. It has to come on its own and it has to be as natural as possible. You feel fine, but at the same time you feel afraid. There's no safety net to catch you if you fall.

It's a scary thought even if it's only been a while. Even if it has only been a month or two or more. It's just there, this void that you know you created. On the one hand, you're relieved because deep down you followed your heart, but at the same time you want someone to--I don't know-- remind you that it'll be like it was before.

It's not always the same. It doesn't get easier, the steps just become clearer.

1. Keep a few days distance: You distance yourself for a couple of days or a week by being busy with anything. You clean, you go out, you write, you drive. You gain emotional distance from the situation and hope that the other person will realize your distance and prepare. They hardly ever do.
2. You make up your mind and get clear on your decision: You've been thinking about this for a while before now. You've weighed your pros and cons. Most likely you realized that something in the relationship isn't working and hasn't been working for quite some time no matter how hard you and your partner have tried fixing it.
3. Be prepared, be clear: Know what you're going to say and be clear. It's the end and not, "We'll see."
   
4. Closure: This is always the hardest for me to deal with. Their resistant and upset (totally within their right) and it's hard just to be firm andsay goodbye so they know it's over. They won't understand, and you can't make them understand. [This gets me every time. I always want to help them understand]
   
5. No contact: You can't be friends right after a break up. I've tried and failed. There are always questions, there are always unresolved things that come up. Time heals, and time apart is essential after a break up.

The last step is hard. If you part on somewhat good terms there's always that part of you that wants to continue on as if nothing happened. Like, if you had a routine to call someone at night you want to pick up the phone and talk like nothing happened. Except it did. It hurts and you want that back. You want your safety net, but you have to be ready to trust yourself not to fall.